Mama-Musician

inspired by Georgia meme-01

Courtney's Blog Banners-03 I’m a mom now. Every minute of my life revolves around my perfect little human, yet, I know she’s going to help me be a better musician. I’ll explain…

My girl inspires me like nothing ever has. Though most of the spontanious songs I make up for her are silly enough to be for Georgia’s ears only, the real inspiration is how she has expanded my capacity to love to a whole new degree. It’s like I wasn’t using a piece of my heart before and now it’s turned on turbo strength. In turn, she’s brought freshness to my thinking and through tired late night feedings, my mind (that would be delirious being this tired under any other condition) is opened up to so much more than it was before.

IMG_1361

My girl balances me. Being a musician, still waiting for “my big break”, but ever so hungry for it, I don’t stop too often, and when I do stop, I feel guilty for stopping. This is something I’ve never openly talked about, because I never want to make anyone feel bad. I love what I do, but it’s not really a job you ever get to leave. There’s a certain anxiety that comes from knowing no matter what I’m doing to create and spread my music, there’s always so much more I can be doing. I never want to tell anyone, “hey, I know if I stay and chat or play Settlers of Catan right now, I’m going to feel sick later that I didn’t get _______________ this and __________ done.” The people in my life are too important for that, but it’s true that later on I’m hard on myself for not accomplishing enough. All until her…

Yes, I still have this crazy drive to do my music thang, but the difference is, that now, when I’m taking care of her, that anxiety and guilt goes out the window and I know that I’m doing exactly what I should be doing. It’s magic, she’s magic. And her lifting that burden for me has been the sweetest gift. She has healed me.

I’m still going to have that push (ALWAYS), but the way this angel has balanced me will allow me to enjoy music all the more when I’m doing it.

The reality is, besides responding to emails, I haven’t accomplished a ton of music stuff since July 5th, but I’m getting healed up and girl is healthy and drinking 17 times her bodyweight in milk everyday. I think we’re ready for me to be mama-musician! Even though my time is so much more filled up now, I feel like a whole new Courtney. I’m so excited about where this will take my music. Thank you, Georgia.

1379641_702974986382080_1609342945_nUntitled-3-01

One thought on “Mama-Musician

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *